THE 11/11 PORTAL
On 11/11 we entered an accelerated corridor of transformation that I see continuing to 12/21. The past year has been so much about collapsing old timelines, realities, and cleaning up our multi-dimensional lives. We have integrated and released a LOT of stuff. There is major clearing going on right now, I know, I know…when is there NOT some sort of major clearing going on?
Recently, I’ve felt like the cosmic janitor of my life. It seems like this entire year has been an experience of stops and starts. Baiting and switching, and a ton of dead ends and cul-de-sacs. It often seems like not much progress has been made, but then I think back to 11 months ago and how much you/we have been through in less than a year. Even for someone who has moved as much as I have, living in four cities in one year has stretched me far beyond any semblance of a comfort zone. Comfort zone? What’s that? At this point, the idea of a comfort zone seems quaint and old fashioned. Like a horse drawn carriage or crossing the Atlantic on a steam ship in a bonnet and a corset. It’s amazing how the current moment always re-frames our past experience. That is to say, that it seems to me the layers we are peeling back now make our previous stuff look like child’s play.
Many of us (myself included) are being called back to places that we thought we had long passed. I hear time and time again from my clients (and myself) “What the HELL am I doing back here?!? I thought I was done with this!!”
The work that we are each being called to, as always, is very personal and relative to wherever we are in our process. However I am seeing (through my own experience and the sessions I have had with clients the past couple of weeks) that we are clearing some very old, deeply held programs and structures.
The ongoing merge between our divine selves and our human selves has brought us to a point where the two frequencies meet. The phrase I keep hearing over and over is “this is where the earth touches the sky”. The image I see is a Venn Diagram. The part where the circles overlap has created a portal and this is where we are. 
I feel this portal was opened on 11/11 as our physical and non-physical realities merged in a profound way. I hesitate to use language such as “portal”, and “requirements”. Because our human mind LOVES to latch on to these words and take them literally. As if there is a right way or a wrong way or a set of rules that we must follow in order to “succeed”. Or that we should be hunting through the hedge to find a physical door through which to enter this new landscape. As always, the portal is internal, and any requirements are wholly unique to each of us. In this case there is very clearly the sense that whatever is yet unresolved within us must be completed before we proceed. It’s like some of us have gotten to the boarding gate only to be told that “nope, there are still a few things in your luggage that you can’t bring with you, so go over there and sort it out”.
As I was sitting here trying to think of how to describe what I am seeing, I suddenly heard reference to the bible verse about the camel passing through the eye of a needle. “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:23-26
Even though our journey is mostly free flowing and organic, there are what I call choice points. These points are concrete and distinct rather like mile markers on the interstate. This moment seems to be a choice point that holds a lot of potential and also holds us to a set of requirements that are rather inflexible.
As we move towards 12/21 we are being called to do some important work. When I feel into the bible verse above, I see how perfectly it illustrates where we are. As humans we are rich with attachments. We hold stories, beliefs, and ideas that we have to let go of in order to move into a deeper union with our self. We simply can’t bring the “old energy” with us. It’s incompatible. Every time there’s a new level up, we must release another level of story or control in order to expand. In essence we are letting go of our “riches”, and shedding our skin again as we grow beyond our previous perceptions, while our limitations continue to drop away. I love the line: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”. We so often forget that we are God. We are the divine expression knowing itself through our human adventure. When we are tightly focused on our human perspective and our attachments to it, we are burdened and there is no way we can “ascend”. As we remember how to tap into our divine awareness and live through that perspective, we see how effortless and easy it is. We see how limitations only exist within the construct of our human experience.
CLIENT STORIES
Several days ago I sat with my friend Candace Craw-Goldman. We had scheduled a session trade and she was first up for me to do an energy work session with her. During her session a lot of beautiful stuff transpired. For me, the most interesting thing that happened was insight on something I have seen happen with the many of my energy work clients and groups. Almost every single client over the past couple of weeks has seen the removal of what I have called the “yoke of burden”. It’s an energetic structure that exists around the neck and shoulders. It carries a program that tells us that life is hard and that we must suffer. This program says that life is a struggle that we must slog through on our own, denying ourselves joy and satisfaction until we drop dead and maybe, just MAYBE if we are good enough and holy enough, we will be rewarded when we’re dead. It’s always some variation on this theme and is also the root of the outdated martyr program that I have seen dissolving over and over in energy work. With Candace I saw the same structure, but in her session I got a lot more info on exactly what this is. This structure resembles a back brace. It is connected to us through the back of our body and it was required for many of us to wear in order to function here on Earth. It’s an energetic structure that has allowed us (as infinite beings of no limitation) to exist in a very dense, lower frequency environment. It is similar to the scuba suit that lets us breathe underwater. We willingly agreed to this structure because we knew we needed it to match our innate vibration to the Earth/Matrix vibration. Now that Earth has moved out of The Matrix and we have access to levels of reality that are much higher in frequency, we don’t need it anymore. It’s an outdated technology that has become a burden. It often keeps us locked in the loop of struggle, because it is designed to function in a lower density environment. Once we have moved out of that bandwidth of frequency, we not longer need it and it quickly becomes a source of interference. Imagine trying to run Windows 95 on a brand new laptop, it’s the same idea.
When I was working on Candace, I saw that around her left shoulder blade, this structure was drilled in to her body. She mentioned after the session that from a very young age she had been complaining about pain and discomfort there and nobody was ever able to figure out what it was. Her willingness to let go of this structure had an immediate affect. She emailed me like 10 minutes after our session saying that there was an issue with someone in her life that had been a source of difficulty that had suddenly resolved itself. In order to clear this old structure, she simply had to show up willingly to allow the energy session to unfold.
Another client “Bob” found himself at a standstill. We did an Oracle Card reading and the cards showed me very clearly that he was going through a huge physical shift. His body needed a lot of downtime to process and integrate the new codes he had received, but he was being really hard on himself. His lack of compassion for his physical needs had turned him into a bully and he was being terribly impatient with his body. I saw that he is here in this life to do very important work, but he isn’t going to be able to move forward into it until his body is ready. It was time for him to clear the old family/lineage programming that was turning him into a bully. He wasn’t consciously stepping forward to be mean to himself. It was simply the old story he had inherited from his family which told him to be tough, man up, and to just push through it. He was also burdened by the sense of guilt that he wasn’t able to be the best parent, partner and family member because he needed so much time out to take care of himself. He was very clearly being asked to create some healthier boundaries around self care and honoring his needs. He felt that his guidance had deserted him and that he wasn’t connected anymore. Part of the issue was that he is undergoing a powerful shift and just like when we download new software, the computer has to reboot; his body was in power down mode while it integrated new info. The other half of it was that he wasn’t honoring his own boundaries. He would acknowledge “ok, I need this time to myself to rest and heal”, but his unresolved guilt would almost always find him saying yes to things when he really didn’t want to. His guidance hadn’t forsaken him, but they also can’t override free will. If he refused to allow these shifts to occur, he was only going to prolong the process and at some point his body would have to assert itself. When I told him “Look, your body is doing its best to honor the work you came here to do, but you physically aren’t ready to run the energy you need to run to do this work. Your body’s need to rest is non-negotiable. Either way your body is going to win, even if it has to pull a ‘force quit’ on you and shut you down to do it.” Bob acknowledged that chronic pain had already started to set in, which was doing exactly that, forcing him to be still and rest. His work is to practice radical self love and compassion. It also is requiring him to advocate for himself. He’s gotta make space for his body to rest and heal, even if that means upsetting or disappointing his family from time to time.
Another oracle card client was sitting with a very interesting aspect of herself. She was dealing with the sense that she was back in a place that she thought she was well beyond. As we opened up her reading, a very interesting thing began to emerge. She was coming back to many of these issues for the final time. However, the difference here was this round wasn’t about answers or information. At least not the kind of answers and information that satisfy the mind or the personality. This wasn’t about insight that gave her action steps. This wasn’t about the body either. This was about feeling deeply into things in a way that was beyond the comprehension of her logical mind. This was about sitting with what I have called the Primary Other. I’ve seen this with a few clients and now it’s showing up with a lot more frequency as of late.
When we are young, around the age of 4 or 5, we suddenly begin to realize that people generally act in a way they think they should act, even when it’s in direct opposition to what they feel or know to be true. In other words we go from a fully integrated being who trusts and knows itself completely to one who edits and filters its words, actions, and choices to give people what they want, in order to be rewarded. We learn to modify who we are in order to gain favor from the societal programming or The Matrix. We essentially create “the other” within ourselves. This process continues throughout our life as we separate ourselves further and further away form our true self. Eventually we have an awakening moment and begin the journey back to our core self. This Primary Other is often the first way we separate ourselves from ourself. It’s like the Russian nesting dolls, and the Primary Other is the one that is the closest to the core self. This layer of self is very old. It doesn’t speak language or care about rational thought or the needs of the ego. It only understands feeling and emotion and vibration. Sitting with this layer of self requires a total deep dive into the most hidden parts of our humanness. There is no instruction manual of how to resolve ourselves with this aspect, it simply must be done. This part holds great power in its ability to remind us of how to live vibrationally, beyond the function of the logical/rational mind.
We are at a point where whatever we have been pushing to the side must be allowed in. No doubt there has been plenty to keep us busy the past few years (in some cases decades) and if we are honest with ourselves, for a lot of us, there is also stuff that we have been pushing aside saying “Not yet, I’ll deal with this later”. Well later is now. It’s time to strip down to the core level of self and open up to it. Some of this stuff will be integrated and resolved and some of it will be left behind. If you think about how fundamental the idea of the Primary Other is, you can see that a lot of this stuff in no way serves us any longer. Most of us have been grappling with how to integrate things that aren’t to be integrated. It is absolutely time to abandon much of this old programming for good, because beyond the density of our past it is useless. It’s like taking that scuba suit to the Moon and thinking that it will still work. Obviously it’s time to move on to new ways of functioning.
It’s an odd thing to perceive our life through the filter of living in the overlap of the Venn Diagram. It’s as if the final act of release from our old reality is at the same time the first act of rooting into the new one. We are remembering how to nurture, parent, love, and heal ourselves. Whatever it is within us that is still asking for unconditional love and infinite compassion can simultaneously free us from the past and root us in the new. It becomes both a declaration of moving on from the old and a proclamation of arrival in the new. Funny how that works, isn’t it?
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