Endings and Beginnings

When I started my YouTube channel back in 2014, it was a matter of survival. At the time, I was doing my best to fulfill the role of someone who offered spiritual guidance and support, but honestly I had NO idea what I was doing. At least my Human self didn’t, and at that point, I don’t know that I was even aware that there was any other perspective besides Andrew’s.

Those early years (post my awakening in 2012) often felt like navigating a mine field. I never knew where the next explosion was going to occur. Nothing felt right, nothing looked right, nothing WAS right. Each day I was waking up in a life that was becoming more foreign by the minute. The burning sense of “purpose” that I felt churning in my gut was growing bigger each day, and I had NO idea how to quell it!

Most of the things I used to enjoy or spend time doing were empty and boring. Distraction and illusion were now mostly a waste of time. Of course, I doubled down on them, but that was futile too. Trust me when I tell you that I tried just about every trick in the book to go back to sleep. 

It didn’t work. 
It never does.

Everything that had been avoided, stuffed, numbed, or rejected, lined up to be seen, felt, experienced and integrated. It was often terrifying. I dreaded a LOT of it. I dragged my feet and tried to avoid it. I begged, pleaded, screamed, threatened, and shouted. 

I wanted to quit every. Single. Day. 

There were more tears, anxiety, drama, and emotional pain from 2012-2020 than I think I had experienced in the rest of my life combined. It was confusing as hell, and the precious moments of clarity were few and far between.

And yet, I kept showing up.

The truth is that I’d made a promise. On a gorgeous Los Angeles Spring day in May of 2012, when I finally surrendered and said “Yes”, I had some very simple requirements.
Standing there, with tears streaming down my face I said: 

“I don’t know who you are or what you want. But if you get me back to Seattle, get me a job and an apartment, I will do whatever you say. As long as I am happy, self employed, and helping people, I will commit and I won’t budge until you say so.”

In that moment, unbeknownst to me, what I had really committed to was a life of service. I didn’t know it at the time, but the promise was one I’d made to my Self. This is not a bell you can “un-ring”. Once you’re awake, you can’t go back to sleep. No take backs!! 

What I also didn’t know is that this life of service was to begin with me. In order to authentically do the work I came here to do, I had to first remember how to do it. Basically, if I was going to be a healer, the best way for me to re-hone my skills was by first healing myself. In typical Andrew form, I decided the fastest way for me to remember how to swim, was to jump into the pool!

At least I was clever enough to set things up in this lifetime in a way that allowed my own healing to be an example for others. By agreeing to share my journey publicly, I created a reality where our paths could be parallel. Not only going through my own journey of rediscovery, reconnection, and remembrance, but at the same time sharing wisdom, teachings, and insight that could in turn support you in your journey. This also allowed me to form my practice into something that would support me in return. I have to say, it was kinda perfect. 

In 2015, I was visiting a friend in San Francisco. Out of nowhere, I got the nudge to move. I was standing in Dolores Park having coffee, and just like that I felt the pressure valve release. I was now free to roam the world again. That is to say, after [what ended up being] four years of staying put in Seattle and honoring my commitments, it was time for me to strike out on my own once more.  

So, in 2016 I began my 7 stop, 5 year, cross country, transatlantic journey. During this period, I went through another rapid corridor of acceleration and expansion. 

I thought I knew who I was.
I thought I knew what healing was. 
I thought I knew what surrender was. 
I thought I understood unconditional love and compassion. 
I was wrong.

I knew nothing.

The next 5 years showed me that what I had was an academic understanding of these concepts. I had yet to truly live and embody them. 
I landed in LA in 2018, thinking that finally I had come to a resting place. 

Wrong again.

In late 2019, I got the message to leave LA and move to Colorado. I arrived thinking that this would be a temporary stop before moving on to my next destination. Then the bottom fell out of my practice, as the bottom fell out of the world.

2020 found me (like most of us) having a lot of time to get crystal clear on the current state of my life. More than anything it was one existential question after another. 

What did I really want from my life?
How did I want to show up in service?
Was I truly offering valuable content and showing up as a catalyst for remembrance and reconnection?
Was I creating clarity in the collective? 
Or was it simply more noise?

I didn’t like a lot of the answers that came from these questions. I didn’t like being plunged into yet another round of excavating myself. I didn’t WANT to unearth more of “my stuff”!! Couldn’t this just be DONE ALREADY!?!

Clearly the answer was: “No”.

Despite my resistance, what I found through 2020 was surprising in the best way. 
Things had gotten easier. 
Yes, there were still tears, fears, and anger, but it was different. I didn’t resist letting go like I used to. I wasn’t afraid of my shadow anymore. I didn’t run from the gray areas of my life.
There was a spaciousness in my energy field that I had often suspected was there, but had seldom experienced for more than a second or two. Now, inner peace and quiet were the rule and not the exception. 
Suddenly I was aware of inner changes via the absence of things.
The absence of fear. 
The absence of doubt.
The absence of judgments about myself and others.

For the first time, I think EVER in this life, things were easy.
Things were OK.
I wasn’t worried or on edge. 
I felt at home. 
Most importantly, I felt like Me.

On the heels of this realization came big Remembrance. 
I pierced the veil.
As in I finally remembered why I came back.
I remembered what the whole point of this experience called Andrew was in the first place.
So what exactly IS the point of all this? That is a REALLY good question!

I do have one…I promise.

I’ve shared with you how my practice has built itself around me sharing my experiences. This is the mechanism that allows people to use my journey as a template for their own healing. Humans have this amazing ability to mirror what we see in another. When you see a human doing something that you previously thought was not possible, it immediately unlocks that possibility and potential within you. Now you have some new spaces to explore.

Even when all the technical difficulties of living in rural Colorado (crappy internet) hindered the monthly Energy Transmissions, rather than see that as an opportunity to heed the call and make some changes, I just pretended to ignore it. I tried to convince myself that the poor signal didn’t really matter, and that you were still getting what you needed. 

Then I watched some of the recent live stream videos on my YouTube channel. I saw that entire chunks of dialogue were missing because the signal had dropped during the live broadcast. No wonder I had gone from 17K views per video to less than 2K per installment.

Even at my laziest and most deluded, I can’t pretend production quality such as that is something that I proudly put my name on. 

So, when February started coming around, I felt a pit growing in my stomach. I knew it was time to do my monthly video, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to fight the crappy internet and end up with another choppy, half assed video. The truth was that I felt like I had been phoning it in for the past few months. For me it’s always going to begin with the resonance of what I am doing. If that’s not there, then I know it’s time to make a change.

To be honest, The Lighted Ones and AmarOsiris have been calling me to this change for a while, but I have resisted. Another side effect of refusing to heed the call to change was that I found myself increasingly feeling like I was just regurgitating the same old messages. I didn’t even know what I would share in a video anyway! But frankly all of that felt inconvenient, and I had a bit of resistance left in me. So, I just decided to pre-record the February video like I used to. 

Then it was the glitch parade. 

For 3 days, I edited, recorded, and perfected the video over and over, and each time I was foiled by some technical glitch or another. I could have easily just screamed “DAMN YOU MERCURY RETROGRADE!!” at the sky and tried again. And I almost did.
Until yesterday. 
When, at the precipice of my final attempt at producing a video, I stopped. 

“This isn’t what I want. This doesn’t feel true anymore”.

But what will I share if not a video? How will I make money?! How will people FIND ME?! What will happen?!?

Then The Lighted Ones knocked on the door:

“We have been eagerly awaiting this intersection. We have known these changes were coming and have been communicating them to you for some time. Your path has taken you far and wide over the past few years. We have watched with great honor as you have reclaimed your Mastery. We have watched with great excitement as you have welcomed yourSelf home. The journey of healing is the journey of returning to your Self. As you return to the center of Self and reclaim your place among the stars, your journey of healing shifts. You are now stepping into Realization and this is an entirely different phase. You are no longer carrying your broken self with you. You are no longer spending the bulk of your time and attention clearing and releasing. The need for spending time in spaces devoted to the initiation of healing has passed. The time for helping people gather the fundamental truths of their spiritual life is over. There are countless bright souls who are waiting to take up the mantle of supporting people on their journey to awakening. You are now called to support people on their journey to Realization. We are here to humbly request that you step back, join us in the fold, and allow us to speak through you once again. We suggest that doing this via written posts will be the most effective way to communicate the information that will be shared through you now.”

Sounds good to me, guys! Let’s do it!

So, here I am. FINALLY sharing the post that has taken me 4 days to get to.

What does all of this mean for Andrew Martin Energy?
I don’t know.
What does this mean for my YouTube channel? 
I don’t know.

What I do know is this is a leveling up. 
This is a beginning wrapped in an ending.
This is Change with a capital “C”.
I know that it means I won’t be sharing monthly Energy Transmissions on YouTube like I used to.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not going anywhere. I am committed to this path of service for the entirety of this life time – which, by my calculations has about 284 years to go.
I assume I will continue to engage through video, but I don’t know that for sure. 
I know that what The Lighted Ones and AmarOsiris are going to share is going to be amazing, but I don’t know exactly what it is. Though I do have some ideas.
I know that further down the path, YayFlowers will emerge as an extension of my healing practice.

I also know that for some of you, this may be the moment when our paths diverge, and that’s ok too.
It’s all ok.
It always has been.

Why am I sharing this with you? 

Mostly because I want to. You deserve to hear from me as to why things are once again shifting and morphing. You have continued to show up and support me. Some of you have even been with me since the first video in 2014! It would have been really easy for me to simply ghost and drop off the radar, but that didn’t feel right,
For better or for worse, I have done my best to be honest and transparent in sharing my journey.

So, why should I stop now?
Sure, things are going to change, but I’ll still be here.

What I know is that if you stick around, we’re going to explore some really amazing places together.
What I know is that if you decide to walk this path of Realization with me, it’s going to blow all of our minds!
What I know is that the next phase of this journey is going to see many of the things we’ve been talking, dreaming, and visioning about finally come into form.
What I know is that no matter where we go from here, I love you and I bless you.
Thank you for all that you are.

I love you,

On Sunday, February 14th, (yay, Valentine’s day!) I am hosting the first ever Group Sphere Healing. I’m doing if via Zoom starting at 10AM MT. I would love to see you there, It’s gonna be amazing! Follow the link to find out more and sign up. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/139908503099

If you feel the work I offer is of value, please consider making a donation. Your generous offerings make a very real difference in my life. Thank you.
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Andrew Martin Energy

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