The past few weeks have shown me beyond a shadow of a doubt that nothing is the way it used to be. The old ways of being, doing, thinking, and creating just don’t work anymore. The comfort zone is gone. For a lot of us (myself included) this can cause us to freak the fuck out. When the energy we used to rest in doesn’t really feel right anymore, it forces us to seek out new ways of living. Well, it doesn’t really force us, because free will is always ours. However it sure does a great job of making us very uncomfortable if we’re bullshitting ourselves that everything is fine where we are when we know that it’s not.
All of us are being called to embody the fullness of who we are. All of us are being pushed to expand our perceived limits. The truth is, that we are limitless. The totality of who and what we are also includes the formless and unseen. The higher aspects (spiritual, energetic, intuitive etc) of ourselves are now merging with the human aspects of who we are.
The work that I do is about breaking down the mystery and dogma around what it means to undergo spiritual growth and to live from the heart. It’s also at its core about helping people to see through their own bullshit stories about why they can’t be happy. We are all in our own way being pushed to examine, accept and integrate that the old ways are no longer the status quo. The secret is out! The jig is up! You can’t hide from your own truth anymore.
In a nutshell, we are all being ushered into a way of life that is not about thinking as much as it is about feeling. It is about looking at the parts of ourselves that we have either been suppressing/avoiding or have been completely unaware even existed. The ego/mind now serves the soul.
This has been showing up over and over in my sessions with clients.
A couple of weeks ago I had a lovely woman contact me at the bookstore for a reading. She had several questions but the main issue was a relationship she was in. It wasn’t a horrible situation, but it wasn’t truly what she wanted. For the past decade she had been stifling the part of her that was dissatisfied. The part of her that was afraid to speak up and say “No. This is not what I want…THIS is what I want.” Her team (her higher self/guides) was showing me an image of her standing at a fork in the road. One path led to a future that felt bright and vibrant and exciting. The other option was dull and faded and flat…like the most boring, lifeless version of her life that was possible. I saw her team basically waiting for her to decide which path she was going to take.
She said she felt like her team hadn’t been present lately. The truth is that we are never without guidance. Sometimes our guides are just waiting for us to decide which path we are going to take so that they can act accordingly. In her case her team told me that if she chose the boring, flat, path (the life she had been treading water in for the past few years) then there wasn’t much that she would need from them. She had already pretty much gotten what she could get from her current situation and their job was to assist her in her growth and evolution…not in her unwillingness to move forward. It was basically like someone who had a math tutor that couldn’t really teach them anything new. They had graduated from Level One Algebra and were refusing to move on to Level Two. What was the tutor supposed to do? Sit there and repeat the same chapters over and over? At some point the teacher can’t do anything until the student is ready to move onto the next level. This also uncovered something else.
Once she finally acknowledged that she was afraid to ask for what she really wanted in her relationship, I saw a bag slung across her chest hanging off to one side. Like a big leather messenger bag carrying something that was suddenly really heavy. This bag was telling me that it held a dream/passion of hers that she had been afraid to pursue. It was getting heavier and heavier because it required her attention. The weight of it was literally so great that it was preventing her from moving forward. It needed for her to make a decision. The time had come for her to decide what she was going to do. Was she going to surrender the dream and finally leave it behind, or was she going to unpack the contents of the bag and finally decide to go for it?
I asked her about this and she said that it related to her business. There was an aspect of her work that she had been really excited about for many years, but that she was afraid to explore. She said that it had started to feel like a burden. I told her that the only reason it felt like a burden was because she had put so much emotional energy into not dealing with it that it was literally starting to weigh her down.
Here’s the thing…thoughts hold energy. Even thoughts that we think to PREVENT us from looking at something hold energy. Spend enough time thinking, or in her case not thinking about something and eventually those thoughts are going to take on weight.
Her job now, was to decide what to do with that dream. There was no wrong or right decision, it was just time to make one. Shit or get off the pot, but you can’t continue to not deal with this desire.
For her what it came down to was this. She was at a place in her life where she could no longer ignore what she really wanted. It was time for her to step out of the comfort zone of ignoring, avoiding and by default creating a really watered down version of her life. It was time for her to step up and decide that she as going to speak her truth. Her team was showing me a horse in a starting gate that was literally champing at the bit to run the race. Her team was SO amped up and ready to step up to support her in her choice to step up and speak for herself but she had to make the decision to take the leap. Otherwise it was going to be a boring “Groundhog Day” version of her life that really didn’t hold much space for assistance from her team. It wasn’t a matter of right or wrong, bad or good. Those duality based choices are fading fast. It was a matter of how vibrant and rewarding did she want her life to be?
My second lady came to me a few days ago and I read for her at my place. I LOVE seeing clients in my home and I really want to do more of it soon! Before she came over I was asking my team to give me a clue as to what we were going to be working on. They immediately took me to my heart. I could feel all sorts of activity there. It was like a power line that had been downed but was still live. The energy was flipping and flopping all over the place. At the same time there was a conflicting energy that was trying to restrain it and control it.
We sat down and she started to share her concerns and questions with me. She too found herself in a holding pattern. There were a lot of things that were shifting for her and at the same time nothing was really moving forward yet. Immediately I started getting hits that this was her time to get in touch with her heart. This was a time of reflecting on what she really truly wanted from her life. Not so much how does her life look to herself and to others, but how does her life FEEL.
Whereas my previous lady’s comfort zone was one of imbalanced feminine energy that kept her in a place of not speaking up for herself, this lady was the opposite. She was imbalanced masculine energy trying to control and force life to be exactly what she wanted it to be regardless of how much energy it took from her.
Her team showed me an image of her standing on a rock under a waterfall. At first the waterfall was a trickle, but in no time it was a deluge of water dumping millions and millions of gallons over her with a force that was so powerful it was literally trying to knock her off of the rock into the calmer waters below. I could see her using all of her strength from the tips of her toes to the top of her head to resist this energy. She laughed out loud when I told her this. She definitely owned up to always being the one in control. To always having a plan and being able to mold and shape her life into exactly what she wanted it to look like. Not anymore! This was her time to let go…to let the powerful energies that were washing over her take her to a more balanced and peaceful place. To jump off of the rock and into the calmer waters below. For her it’s not a thinking thing, it’s a feeling thing.
Mother Mary showed up when I pulled cards for her and the message was loud and clear. “It’s time to start living your life more softly. It’s time to be receptive and allow life to bring things to you. You’ve got to start being ok with showing your vulnerability. You’ve got to start trusting that it will all unfold in the right way in the right time as long as you are allowing yourself to feel your way to it. It’s not about being passive or inactive, but sometimes we have to trust that life really is bringing the right opportunities to us. Sometimes it’s not about making it happen, but allowing it to happen.”
My lady fully confirmed all of this. She had always been a tomboy and her masculine energy was fully operational…in fact it was too operational. Her homework was to be comfortable in not knowing. In not having all of the answers right away. To open up a bit and do her best to follow what her heart wanted. To trust that her team really did know what she wanted and that if she allowed them to, they would line her up with it.
This is what a lot of us don’t get. Connecting with higher guidance isn’t about being passive and just letting life happen. It’s about trusting and surrendering to the truth that sometimes what we think we want is far far less than what we can really have. That either because we aren’t speaking up, or because we are trying too hard to control, life can’t come in on our behalf. Whether we are too afraid to take the wheel and steer our life in the direction we want or we’re too afraid to relinquish control and let our higher self guide us to what we truly want. Either way it’s just allowing fear to come in and fuck things up.
That’s why the comfort zone doesn’t work anymore. Because in comfort we aren’t growing. In comfort we aren’t saying “THIS IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE”!! In comfort we aren’t saying “I don’t have all of the answers. I don’t know what’s next and I am perfectly ok with that”. In comfort we aren’t paying attention to what life is nudging us to do so that we can move towards creating from our hearts. In comfort we aren’t acknowledging that dream or that desire that we have so desperately longed to realize. In comfort it’s just same shit different day. The powerful, paradigm shifting, dogma shattering, waterfall of energy that is flowing down on top of us isn’t designed to keep us comfortable. It is designed to shake us to our very core and call us into action. Into action of owning our power and consciously creating and allowing life to be an expression of our heart’s desire.
For me this has shown up in my desire to expand my business and take it to the next level. I want to help more people, to increase my client base and to start doing workshops and group work. My team has made it very clear to me that one of the ways I can do that is by writing about how I work and what I do with my clients. They keep telling me that the only real perceived hurdle to big success is that more people don’t know about me. My job is to speak more clearly about my perspective. The truth is that what I do isn’t as unique as how I do it. There are thousands and thousands of people you can go to for an intuitive reading. What makes me different is my position of Spiritual Rebel. It’s not always easy facing the truth of who we are. Especially when we’ve spent a lot of time, money, and energy to pretend we’re someone else. My job is to help you get real with yourself. My job is to help you grab your life by the balls and shake it up. My job is to help you figure out how to build the life you really truly want. If you want your life to change you’re going to have to start doing things differently. My job is to show you a different way.
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