When will I get over him? When will I stop wanting to spend time with her? Why do I still feel drawn to behaviors that I know aren’t good for me?
I think most of us have asked these questions on our journey back to self. The truth is that healing has no timeline. Your pain isn’t interested in your schedule or agenda. It takes as long as it takes. Your compassion and your willingness to sit with your wounds are the medicines you seek. There’s a story in our pain. All of our emotions have a message for us. It’s our job to listen and feel.
When we imprint on someone or something out of pain it is because our wound is desperately seeking to be healed. It draws to you the perfect circumstances through which that healing can occur. It is trying to show you that you are the one that holds the key to your healing. As you are able to fill that void with your own loving care, that longing begins to wane. The emptiness and desperation soften and dim as you bring your full healing presence to your self.
Just because you’re still drawn to the things that once hurt you doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means you need time. Time with yourself. Time to come back to center. Time to show yourself what love and emotional safety feel like. Time to remember just how brilliant you really are. As the wound heals, the attraction fades. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not an easy thing to learn a new language. So go easy on yourself. Give yourself the space that you need.
Eventually the pull eases up and you are able to relax and breathe again. Until then, count to 10. Count to 100. Walk around the block. Find a friend to confide in. Paint, draw, dance, laugh, scream, sweat, and shout. Seek support and learn how to give yourself the thing your wound has been seeking all along: You.
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