Andrew Martin Energy

Where am I? Where are You? Where are We?

“Where am I in all of this?” 

This is a question that I keep coming back to over and over again these days. 

As someone who grew up looking at the world from the outside, I naturally cultivated an ability to separate myself from group think and the dictates about what I was “supposed to do”. 

I came in with a sense of Self that unquestioningly offered me the indelible difference between what I was told was true and what I knew [on a visceral level] was True.

It took me years to accept my nature and understand that I didn’t come here to fit in. I didn’t come here to live in the house of another. I didn’t come here to play a game that I had no hand in writing the rules to. I didn’t come to fall in step and toe the line.

I came to rattle some cages. 
I came to fracture foundations built upon illusion.
I came to tear down the walls of separation that we erect against ourselves and each other.
I came in with an energy field that by design causes waves.
I tried to hide from this for years. I did everything I could to blot it out to no avail. Now I embrace it. These are my super powers.

The innate ability I posses, to always ask the questions that stop people in their tracks and pierce the density of the collective narrative haze, can often be a colossal pain in the ass.

It means that people are often uncomfortable in my presence. It means that I have never been able to delude or fool myself for any great length of time. It means I have never blindly cowed to those who have deemed themselves my authority. In my world, that position is earned before it is granted.

Even in the moments where I was able to blot/numb/silence the inner knowing, it was only ever temporary and always at the cost of my own happiness and wellbeing. The price for being as I AM, is an inescapable requirement that I focus these gifts on myself too.  

My experience inevitably brings me to turning the focus upon myself via deep, and challenging questions. The way I see it, tough questions are the portal to transformation and the manifestation of the life I dream of. 
I realized at a young age, that I couldn’t simultaneously cut parts of myself off [to fit in] and also live a life that felt like paradise. It’s an either or thing.

At least for me it is.

Lately when I look out upon the world at large, I see chaos, division, and a storm of confusion and anxiety. When I find myself struggling to make sense of the conflicting narratives and feel like I am a tangled mess of knots, questions, and fears, it’s always a sign that I have left my center.
In the moments when I realize I’ve strayed too far from Self, the question I always come back to is:

“Where am I in all of this?”

Last night I was chatting with a friend. We were both sharing frustrations around [what we see as] the surrender of individual authority. Neither one of us has ever bought the idea that if we just “do what we’re supposed to do” things will go back to normal and all will be OK. I went to bed with a knot in my gut, and an angry fire burning within. 

No surprise I didn’t sleep very well.

This morning, I sat down to find myself again. To begin my own loving inquiry around my discomfort with so much of what’s at play right now. This, as usual, brought up some hard questions. Questions that I am going to share with you too.

My wish is that you can not just read these questions, or skim over them; but deeply feel into them and be honest with what you see.

From where I stand, we no longer have the luxury of ignoring ourselves.
It’s time to turn within and ask:
“Where am I in all of this”

So here goes…

“Do you believe that you have authority over yourself and your body?” Why or why not?
To further this one… “Who gets to decide what happens to your body and when?” 

And although [for myself] I already know the answer to this one: “Who gets to decide what happens to my body and when?”

“Do billion dollar corporations and career politicians love you and have your best interests at heart?” How do you know?

“If criticism is the backbone of the Scientific Method,  can science and scientific results that are deemed unquestionable be scientific?” How so?

“Do you trust what you know in your gut? Even when that knowing is counter to what outside sources are saying is true?” Why do you think that is?

This last question is one of the most difficult ones that I have found, so of course it must be asked…

“What part of your heart and mind have you had to shut off in order to silence the narratives that are uncomfortable or inconvenient for you to hear?”

In my opinion, if we are to make it out of this alive, we must return to basic respect for life…ALL life. Not just the lives of those we agree with.

It’s not easy, but nobody said building a life that feels like paradise would be.

lastly, I will leave with you some words that my friend shared this morning on the heels of our conversation last night.

Love and compassion are being gaslit. Who’s benefiting when we’re divided? Wake up, friends! We need each other now. Normal was never normal to begin with. Let’s come together to create a new normal that benefits us all. What about LOVE and respect of difference? What’s happening?!

I hope these questions, as uncomfortable as they may be, bring you back to Self.

I love you.



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5 thoughts on “Where am I? Where are You? Where are We?”

  1. prachtig andrew it is a difficult and strange time and I am made of the same truth as you . I belief and let us support each other. Anna

  2. I completely agree, Andrew. I have never fit in either, and I have always been a rabble rouser, always asking Why? I also came in with a lot of light, and that has made me a shadow/darkness magnet which was difficult until very recently when I was able to shift how I felt about it. I realized that my alchemy is a divine service to Love and Life and that I have nothing to fear. All are my allies. I pray for humanity every day. I have no answers to what is going on right now either, only more questions. But I do know that I am a divine sovereign being who will not give my power away to anyone or anything. I don’t know that these next years are going to. be easy and it may be up to us light workers to hold the light and be the light houses that people can find when they are done with the darkness and want to come home.

  3. Thank you Andrew for sharing your thoughts, always such a joy to hear from you. I agree we did not come here for comfort and ease. Rather believe we came here to finish what was unfinished and to make ourselves available to make a difference in people’s lives for the greater good. I for one am encouraged by the chaos and all the hypocrisy that is taking place almost everywhere. Knowing each day we are nearing the end of the world as we’ve known it, knowing giving birth is always a messy yet beautiful process. I am cleansing myself inside and out daily praying more than ever especially for Mama Gaia and all her inhabitants, human animal and plant. I pray for mercy for us all. I pray for guidance for all of us that seek it. I pray for our love to grow and physically manifest for one another in ways we;ve yet to imagine. I am grateful for all that I have been given and do my best to be an instrument of true love and peace each hour of each day. Thank you most precious and beautiful one for all you share so eloquently, from my heart to yours and to your beautiful tribe as well, I send you so much love.

    1. What a gorgeous perspective, Kathy! Thank you for sharing this, my friend. I am sending you so much love and grace as we navigate these strange and unusual times. ?

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