ALWAYS PERFECT

Consistently, one of the hardest things for me to wrap my head around is the truth that no matter what, things are always working in my favor. In my book, “Notes From the Higher Self,” one of the lessons; “All of it is from you, all of it is for you” has proven to be one of the most challenging.

I believe in a benevolent universe. It is my perspective that life wants to be lived and that Spirit doesn’t create from exclusion. It is always creating from the totality of all that is. In order for Spirit to be all things, all things must be allowed to exist. In the midst of challenge or difficulty, especially when chaos is in peak form, it is often impossible to see how this is true.

To me, this belief is the answer to the eternal question: “If there is a God, why does God allow terrible things to happen?” The same reason God allows wonderful things to happen. If events were excluded because we decide they are “bad,” then God would cease to be God. Spirit/God/Source doesn’t exist at the exclusion of anything. It can’t. If it did, by definition, it would cease to be.

We were given a soul, free will, a life path, a purpose, and a team of helpers and supporters. Everything we need to create our life is granted before we even come into our body. We are intrinsically a part of the huge puzzle that is comprised of an infinite number of pieces. Without any single piece, the puzzle would be incomplete and would collapse. Life never moves against itself, and we are life incarnate. We can only move against ourselves and each other. The choice lies in what we choose to believe about ourselves and our fellow physical beings.

What if we all really and truly embraced the fact that all of it is simply Spirit objectified in an attempt to know itself more deeply through our choices and actions?

I feel this truth is at the root of why so many people cling to dogmatic systems of belief out of fear. When you strip away all of the “rules,” you are inevitably left with the truth that there is no omnipotent, vengeful deity sitting on a throne of judgement, passing out punishments and rewards. We are the ones who create, allow, deny, and destroy.

Who are you when the God who wants to punish you isn’t watching?

Very few humans are capable of handling that kind of accountability in their lives. It’s a whole lot easier to believe that we are at the mercy of a fickle being in the sky.

Total freedom requires total responsibility for one’s choices and actions. To live according to that Truth is a master-level lesson indeed.

A huge part of what has allowed me to cultivate this world view has been to come to terms with another seemingly impossible truth: nothing is personal. What I mean by that is nothing is ever happening to me; it is always happening for me. Whenever I have found myself in a moment of “WHY ME, GOD??!” the answer that I inevitably come back to, often much to my annoyance, is “Why not me?”

To be a human on the planet at this time is a great privilege. Souls from all of creation lined up to be in a body on the planet during one of the greatest (r)evolutions that has ever occurred. Not every soul was given a ticket to this ride. Many of us were volunteers and were thrilled to be given a part to play. I have integrated a lot of soul memories throughout my awakening journey. One of the most powerful ones is recollecting the reason I came back one more time. It was because I loved humans so much, I wanted nothing more than to do my part in helping them remember how to liberate themselves by their own hands.

If I am granted all I require to exercise my Source-given gifts as a Master Creator, why not me? The Olympic athlete doesn’t show up at the games every 4 years complaining that it’s hard. Of course it’s hard! If you want to be the fastest swimmer on a planet of 8 billion people, you’re going to have to step up to the challenge!

Yeah, it’s hard at times. Maddening. Frightening. Frustrating. Disorienting. Aggravating. Terrifying.

It’s also amazing. Breathtaking. Stunning. Astounding. Otherworldly. Awe-inspiring. Heavenly. Exquisite.

It’s all of that and sometimes it’s none of that. It’s both/and.

That’s the trick. We can’t cherry pick a single experience and use it to convince ourselves of a wrathful god. Which piece of the puzzle is the most important one? They’re all necessary for the entire picture to be revealed. Out of a greater context, almost none of it makes sense.

Last night, I found myself lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. My mind returned to the time when my career as a makeup artist started in the early 90s. It was one of the most exciting times of my life because I had finally found a sense of purpose. I’d found something I loved to do, was really good at, and could make a living doing. It was the first time I’d experienced that. From there, I saw not only how every step I’d taken previously led me to that moment; I also saw how that period opened up the path for everything else I’ve experienced up until now. I could see my entire life as a giant map being carved out, in real time, from the field of limitless potential that holds it all. It was one of those magical experiences where the vision was so clear it took my breath away. It moved me to tears. As they rolled down my cheeks, I felt an enormous wave of gratitude well up within me. In that moment, I saw how perfect everything in my life had been. The deepest darkness and the brightest light had each given me something invaluable that I needed. Yes, they’d taken plenty from me too, but not nearly as much as they’d granted in return. The purity with which Spirit had woven my life is immaculate. I’ve been faced with choices that at the time seemed almost cruel. I’ve experienced moments of bliss that were unlike anything I’ve known before.

None of it was punishment, and none of it was reward. It’s all simply a part of my life. Some of it was chosen from my human perspective, and some of it was chosen by aspects of Self that exist in the higher realms. All of it, though, has been in service of me becoming the most fearless, magical, liberated, powerful, light-filled, spectacular, fully expressed, version of The Divine I can possibly be. Not all of it was easy, and given the choice, I wouldn’t change any of it. How could I?

It has been, and always will be, achingly, magnificently, perfect.

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