Foul Weather Faithful

The phrase “fair-weather friend” refers to someone in your life who is supportive and present during the good times, but seems to disappear when the going gets tough.

Lately, I have been reflecting on an idea inspired by that phrase. I’ve been referring to it as “foul weather faithful."

One of the big shifts in my life as of late has been a deepening of my devotion to my spiritual path and practices. Every day for the past couple of months, I have been showing up and devoting myself to daily communion and connection with Spirit. More specifically, I have been toning and using sound as a way to connect to and express what wants to be shared. It’s something I’ve started to see as an offering to the Divine. A way of showing thanks for what I’ve been given in this life and beyond. I have a voice and am able (and willing) to freely express it. That, in and of itself, is cause for endless gratitude.

For [probably] the first time in my life, I am not showing up to this practice expecting something in return. The payoff from this daily devotion is baked into the experience itself. Giving myself the time each day to get quiet and clear my field is an offering that repays me exponentially.

The realization I had the other day was in acknowledging where I have been a foul-weather faithful in my own spiritual practice. 

In the beginning of my spiritual journey, like most of us, I think, I saw spiritual practices and connection as a means to “get” something. When I was anxious and unclear, I would light a candle and pray. When I had an issue to be solved, I would go to a healer. When I was lost or frustrated, I would lash out in anger to Spirit, demanding an answer.

It’s understandable that this is where I would begin my journey. Especially as a Westerner who has been raised on the idea of outsourcing my own authority. When I had a headache, I would take an aspirin. When I was sick, I would go to the doctor. So of course, when something was wrong in my spiritual life, I would seek counsel or support from a spiritual practitioner.

It’s easy to be all “love and light” when life is good. Just like it’s easy to be in a relationship when things are going well.

In the past, when my life was easy-breezy, my spiritual practice would become less central. I would generally meditate less. My journaling and times of conscious connection would decrease too. I suppose, on some level, I thought that if everything was going well, then why did I need to stop and take time out of my day to tap in and get quiet? Inevitably, when life would start to feel like a bit of a squeeze, I would return to my spiritual focus. As if it was an oracle that could not only solve my problem, but that owed me a solution. More of that sneaky programmed thinking that the answer is “out there.”

Fast forward to the past month or so, and I have begun to experience a relationship with God and Spirit that is closer and more intimate than it has ever been. Showing up every day with zero expectation and the singular intention to connect has been a game changer in many ways. Most notably in my relationship with myself. I think it’s SO easy in our modern world to get swept up in the info/content over saturation. We’ve never been more available to outside input, connection, and distraction than we are today. Add to that the layers of collapse and chaos that are emerging in every single part of our collective experience, and it’s no wonder so many feel untethered. What I have come to realize is that my sense of being grounded and centered within myself and my life begins and ends with me. No matter what is going on “out there,” the choice to intentionally show up for myself first is always available to me.

I am also accessing new levels of trust in myself and the Divine. Regardless of how I arrive; whether it be content, anxious, blissed out, or frazzled, the Divine never denies me. No matter what’s active within me, without fail, I can choose to be available to myself. It has begun to dawn on me that a lot of the old patterns of feeling excluded or rejected were perpetuated by my own behavior towards myself.

The regular devotion to my inner landscape has, quite unexpectedly, been one of the most healing things I have ever done. The irony! To show up with ZERO expectation or insistence that I be “healed” is the very thing that allowed it to occur.

The field does the work, and when I give myself to it, and willingly call it in to embrace me, something magical happens. For me, the trick is to stay out of expectation. Some days I feel transformed by my daily devotion, some days I struggle to commit. That’s life though. It’s an infinite dance with all that is through all that can be. The field is pure potential and as I have recalled my connection to it, it reminds me of the power of the Divine Spark within. It is ALWAYS there, available and willing. I just have to show up and dance.

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